It's My Birthday and I'll Cry if I Want to...

Two things today:

1. Happy Mother's Day!

From my number 1, taken at 12 midnight. :)

2. My Day!

And this started the heavy downpour...

FOR YOU, OUR DAUGHTER KAREN CLAIRE,
HAPPINESS IS WHAT WE WISH FOR MOST!

WE wish for you the self confidence to say no when it is necessary and the strength to stand alone.

When you encounter difficulties and contradictions, do not break them but bend them with gentleness with time.

Whatever you decide, whoever you become, OUR love for you is unconditional: OUR arms and hearts are always open to you. When the world closes in and lies so heavily upon you… remember that WE care.

When the ones with whom you share your life seem like strangers… remember that WE care.

Carry These Thoughts in Your Heart Forever…

If we could stand beside you always, WE would.
If we could carry over all obstacles, WE would.

If we could turn all your tears to laughter, WE would.

That is how we want you to know that being your parent has been one of our greatest joy!

Happy Birthday KC

Loving MOM (at 61) & DAD (at 72)

I told you it rains on my birthday, every single year.


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Where is the Manager?

One of the vivid childhood memories that I have, is fun weekends with my family. As a military officer, Dad had a lot of provincial assignments then, so whenever he’s in town with Mom (yes, she went with him all the time), he made sure that we spend our weekends with fun activities.

The usual routine was to go shopping first, and then eat in our favorite Chinese restaurant, The Bamboo House (in Cubao) where I usually end up unzipping my jeans due to a bulging tummy full of sumptuous Chinese dishes. After a hefty lunch, we head to the movie house and watch a Superman, James Bond, Jet Lee or Jackie Chan movie. The last stop is at the carnival for some games and rides.

It’s easy to remember the fun part of those memories, but along with it came the lessons that I didn’t know I had taken by heart.

“Where is the manager?” I heard this question too many times in my lifetime, and it always comes from Dad.

He’s never the loud and fussy type, but whenever there’s a need to call somebody’s attention whether it’s due to a major complaint such as poor service or a minor inconvenience encountered in an establishment, he asks straight for the big guy always. And every time, I noticed that his concerns were always easily addressed when he talks directly to the manager.

My sister and I learned through his example.

My Turn

I don’t always ask for the manager. I’m typically the patient and persevering customer; generally forgiving of slight slips and inefficiencies. So the moment I open my mouth or start writing what I’d rather not verbally express, that’s when you’ll know that I’ve been pushed to the limit.

Some situations do not merit verbal confrontation, even if the concerned individual/group displays the most unprofessional behavior. It’s too tempting to indulge in one; but is it really worth it? Sure, it would feel good to spew words dipped in venom, or tell somebody to crawl in a hole and get a life or something, if only to release an emotional rage. But as a civilized individual, one has to rise above that and stick to the fundamentals of being objective.

The wise thinks before he acts. It takes breeding, composure and a lot of deliberation to muster the self control needed to avoid stooping down to somebody's level. This actually makes me remember a scene in The Parent Trap, where the well-bred Lindsay Lohan twin delivered in British accent: “I, have class, and you don’t.” True enough, those who have class, won’t.

I would normally compose a two-page complaint letter that narrates the situation in detail, how the inefficient act was committed, suggestions on how to prevent its future occurrence, and the mandatory recommendation for the concerned staff/group to undergo a refresher course in customer service.

So far, I received immediate responses from biggies like French Baker and Jollibee who I believe value the importance of delivering customer satisfaction.

When to call the "Big Boss"

It’s easy to manage these day-to-day inconveniences. But life is not like a business establishment where you can call the manager to fix a situation when things don’t live up to your standards. In a broader aspect, when it’s hard for humans to render sound judgment to life-changing issues, when it’s easy to be emotionally beaten, misjudged and persecuted, when all else fails and there is no one to turn to, it’s comforting to know that we can always call on the "Big Boss" to serve perfect justice.

This Holy Week, we are again given the chance to set aside a few days from work, not to go on a fancy vacation, but to ponder on how we’re leading our lives according to the higher plan. We must ask ourselves: Have we done our own share of misdeeds to others worth complaining to the Big Boss? Are we the victims of those who rejoice in the misery of their neighbors? Are we ultimately living the life our Creator wants us to lead?

You know who you are. You know what you’ve done. You know what you’ve failed to do. You know what you must do.

Have a meaningful Holy Week. :)

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A Celebration of Love

Before I proceed with this post, I would like to greet everyone a magnificent year ahead, free of troubles in mind, body, heart and spirit! With fervent prayers, I hope that this year will be great for all of us.

As I’ve mentioned in my previous post, after Dad’s birthday every December 3rd, comes Christmas, Mom’s birthday on January 3rd, and their wedding anniversary the following day. Imagine the dilemma my sister and I have to go through every single year in finding 4 different sets of gifts for Dad and 3 for Mom, in a span of a little over a month. It’s true that gifts for people you love most are hardest to find, but every year, I’m glad we survive. :)

This year is more special, as it marks the 40th wedding anniversary of our beloved parents.

Forty years!

In this day and age, where staying married for five years is already considered a significant milestone, their union is truly a blessing.

My parents did not have a grand wedding; my Mom just wore a simple yellow above-the-knee dress and veil, while Dad wore a short-sleeved polo barong on their wedding day. They did not even have a simple reception afterward due to very limited finances. After the ceremony and well wishes, all the guests went home.

It was a quiet and solemn ceremony sans the luxury of weddings today, and yet, the blessing bonded them for 40 years. I can’t help but be amazed.

So what’s the big secret?

Whenever Mom hears the story of couples who postpone getting married in Church due to lack of budget for a grand banquet, the release of hundreds of butterflies after the ceremony, the fireworks, the video and photo package from a well-known photographer and other modern wedding works, she couldn’t help but shake her head and relive the memories of her own wedding.

Truly, the quality of marriage a couple has, is not determined by the fancy bridal clothes they wore on their wedding day, the number of guests fed with the sumptuous feast, being featured in the newspaper Lifestyle section as Wedding of the Year, the stature of their godparents in the society, or how many thousands and millions were spent on that one day affair.

Marriage is man, woman and God. The union only needs God’s blessing and the couple’s love, loyalty and commitment to be partners for life to make it last. Sounds simple, but it will take a world of sacrifice to make it work.

A single woman’s perspective may not sound credible at this point. But having witnessed my parents’ married life and all kinds of trials they went through and survived, gives me enough confidence to apply what I’ve learned from them to make my own marriage work, when the perfect time comes.

Yes, although married friends and even strangers always tell me I'm lucky to be single, I still believe in the sanctity of marriage. Mom and Dad, not fairy tales, made me believe that there can actually be a happily ever after.

For the best parents in the world:

Happy 61st birthday, Mom and a blessed 40th wedding anniversary to you and Dad! May your union be stronger, more blissful, today and beyond!

Best wishes and congratulations!


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The Best Mom in the World

It was too tempting to write my own Mothers Day post last Sunday, but I thought I’d save it for now. After all, everyday is Mothers' Day! Don’t you agree?

Let me start off by saying that when I was young, I was more of a daddy’s girl.

My Dad was a military officer in the Philippine Army. Contrary to the general notion of soldiers being stiff and very strict in every way, I am lucky my dad is a pleasant exception. He might be such to his subordinates, while in uniform, but to his family, he is the kindest dad in the world.

My mom on the other hand, was the family disciplinarian. I remember studying my lessons with her and crying when I don’t get the answers right. I kept making mistakes not because I don’t know my lessons, but due to the fact that 1. I was afraid of her, and 2. I am more focused on praying that my dad comes home that very moment. Why? Dad always saves the day and when he comes home, I’ll be free and everything is great!

I never understood why she had to be strict when I was younger. Whenever she raises her voice and gets angry, I would ask myself if she loved me less.

Only now that I became a mother that I realized that the love and uncertainties of a mother for her children are bigger than life itself; that she will do everything she thinks is best for their welfare by all means, no matter what the cost.

Mom did what she had to do to raise me and my sister well. She wanted to mold us into good and responsible individuals, that even if it meant some sacrifice on her part, she inadvertently had to hurt our feelings along the way to achieve that. She disciplined and instilled values in us the best way she knew how, to shield us from the greater pains of the world.

If only a mother can protect her child from every kind of pain and cruelty in this world, she would. But since that is only possible to a certain extent, the best thing that she could do is to prepare her child to face the world head-on, equip him/her with faith, independence, good values and principles, wisdom and courage to stand up for what he/she believes in. I understand now that mom did all that for us.

Early in life, my parents taught us the importance of integrity and having an untainted name. My dad left the service because he was being pushed to take part and join the rotten system in the military - something that he could not stomach; hence he tendered his early retirement.

Another valuable virtue that we learned from our mom is to be generous; to give until it hurts. She is in fact, the most charitable person I’ve known. For years she has dedicated a big part of her life doing charity work and being active in church.

She just turned 60 years old last January, and yet I still see her as the most beautiful woman in the world. No amount of aging will change how beautiful I perceive her to be.

For me, she will always be the life of the party, the best dancer, the greatest cook, the budget queen of all times, the super party organizer, the most creative in-house designer... But above all that, she is the kindest, most loving mother one could ever have. She is all good things rolled into one!

Dearest Mom, I may not be a perfect daughter, but please know that the love I have for you is immeasurable and perfect beyond words, in the only way I know how, completely and forever.

Thank you for bringing me into this world and bringing out the best in me. I love you very much and I am so proud of you!

Happy Mother's Day!