When I Miss Someone…

We get hit by this virus once in a while.

Nobody gets spared; so we all get our share of melancholia and inexplicable longing over someone or something.

Fair enough?

While I lay down sick in my bed, my body was able to get the overdue rest it needed. I can almost hear it saying “Hey, slow down, relax and take a break, will ya?!”

It would have been much better if it came from someone I care deeply about. It would have given a warmer feeling if it came from another human being who cares back.

So I lay there, with my eyes closed, having my mandatory bed rest, but my mind is fully awake.

And then it hit me.

I was given the chance to remember people I never realized I miss a lot. I was too preoccupied that I lost the thought for a while.

Never mind if those people hurt you in the past. Never mind if they broke their promises. Never mind if they missed to respond to your messages. Never mind if they are too busy to show they care. Never mind if they failed you. Never mind if they took you for granted. Never mind if they broke your heart into smithereens...

At this point, you don’t mind. Because all feelings of disappointment dissipate into thin air the moment we miss someone. Shortcomings get instantly erased. For a while, we become defenseless and vulnerable.

If you have a forgiving heart just like mine, who don’t keep a record of wrongs for too long, those people are in luck - they get prayers instead of curses; they get a hug instead of a punch in the face when I do see them (yes, I punch when I get really angry! ;-P).

I’ve always conditioned myself not to linger over unhappy thoughts and to focus on the good, if not, great things that I’m blessed with. Because whenever I think of the good, it always compensates for whatever it is that's missing in my life. Besides, I trust that what I don’t have now will be given in God’s perfect time, so why fret?

It’s no big secret; but basically, that frame of mind helps me get through.

When I think of the people I miss, it always brings a smile, a chuckle and a few tears rolling down my cheeks. They have been, after all, once and will always be a part of me.

What do you do when you miss someone?


Related Post:

Rainy Day Blues

The Notebook(s)

Yesterday, I whisked myself to a mall somewhere after a stressful month of having to deal with pretty heavy emotional stuff, primarily that of my family’s state of health. Everyone is getting sick all around. Age-related, heart-related, work-related, and what-have-you. I’m not going to be surprised if I hit the bed one of these days, too (knock on wood! I’ve been out of the office for so long).

Anyways, back to my de-stressing R and R at the mall, I was fortunate enough to find what I was looking for on my first stop to a gift shop. I was excited (and quite imagining) the day before, to look for a thick hard bound notebook that will serve as my ‘ideas’ diary that I can carry around wherever I go. My mind is so loaded with a lot of ideas that I desperately need to doodle them in paper, otherwise they will be lost somewhere in between my subconscious and superconscious states (? I know I read about this somewhere). I’m already having memory gaps and my good old think bank is not as reliable as it was last year. Aging, can’t stop it, you know.

So back to the notebook. Or notebooks, for that matter.

I got myself three of them. Three pretty designs- butterflies, stars and flowers. I made a mental note that 1 or 2 would surely go to an equally enthusiastic doodler, my 6 year old princess, so I really need to get all 3 of them. I got them very cheap for only P50 each, and they are the type that sells for P100 and up at the regular bookstore. Oh, I just love great buys!

Today I wrote on the butterflies notebook some random thoughts I got in my head (diary style), and wrote my ideas on the stars notebook. It felt like in my younger days, when I would always find comfort in writing or drawing rather than going out. I decided to give Chestene the one with floral design, thinking she’d love it because she adores flowers anyways. When the youngster saw what I got, tears flowed easily because the butterflies had been taken. Talk about same taste, eh? So mommy had to tear the first few pages and exchange.

Ahh, the things we do for our children ranges from the simplest to the most complex imaginable sacrifices. Well, she was happy and it was all well worth it.

By the way, she keeps 5 or so diaries in different sizes. She was the one who actually inspired me to write again, watching her put her thoughts into words. Maybe I can share some of her entries here soon, until she’s old enough to have her own blog (in a year or so, that is).

Well, so much for the notebook(s).